Life as a working mom of three means that life is BUSY. There is always a to do list and just when you feel like you get a lot accomplished, the list grows again. There are daily task to get everyone out the door on time each day, there are the day to day cooking, cleaning and laundry tasks as well as the unexpected things life throws your way each day.
Last night, I got a little perspective on life and what it means to run and run and run each day without putting my needs first sometimes. I have had nagging hip pain since the end of my last pregnancy. My OB said it is common to knock some things out of place when you have given birth to three children. She gave me a referral to a Chiropractor who treats a lot of woman postpartum. That referral has been sitting on my counter for months. Calling to schedule an appointment never made it on my list of things to do.
Late Monday afternoon (my work-from-home/get stuff done day) we had just come back from Abby's dance class and target. I was unpacking school bags and putting away target items when I bent down and to the left to throw something in the trash. My legs buckled and I fell forward onto the counter. I knew I had done something to my back, I have done it before. You know, get a little zinger and then it is over. But this time, it was not over. I was stuck at a 90 degree angle laying on the counter. I reached for my phone in my back pocket to call Brendan who was working in the basement. He rushed up and helped me to a chair.
My life stood still. Here I was, sitting on the edge of a chair in pain and all I could do was think that I had not finished unpacking target things, I had to move the wet clothes to the dryer, dinner had to get started and bottles had to be prepped for daycare the next day. I tried a few times to get up and Brendan kept asking me what I was trying to do. I realized, it is hard for me to sit down and not do all the things on my list. It was really hard.
I watched as my husband made dinner, unpacked the target bag and answered the kids needs with a baby on his hip. And what do I keep doing, apologizing for not helping and giving him orders from the chair. Brendan was amazing. He didn't want me to move from the chair, he did not want me to apologize, he wanted me to give order so he could complete the tasks that I usually do. He really stepped up.
We finally made the decision that I should go to the ER because things seemed to be getting worse. Everyone dropped me off, I gave Brendan instructions on turning my frozen milk into bottles for Kensley, I again apologized for leaving them and I went into the ER.
Sitting in the ER waiting and waiting was difficult for me. All I kept thinking about was when I needed to do, what stayed left undone and what I needed to cancel for work this week.
When I finally was able to be seen, they told me they had to give me strong pain meds and I won't be able to nurse while it is in my system. Thankfully I have a good supply built up in the freezer, but now another tough mommy choice. Do I give up nursing my baby for potentially weeks of medication or tough it out. This will be determined in the next few days as I monitor pain and see how much milk is saved up.
Then I got my shot in the butt and I was feeling good! But still worrying about what was happening at my house. Brendan travels and I am often charged with getting three kids to bed. I have a system and a routine and it works just fine. But Brendan doesn't have that system and I was feeling bad for leaving him with this task on his own. So I sent a text message home to see how things were going and this is what I got sent back.
All my babies are sleeping away. They got to have a special movie night in mommy and daddy's bed. They were all out and moved into their own beds by the time I got home.
This was exactly what I needed. I smiled and was able to relax knowing that every thing was good at home. It might not be how I would do it, they maybe didn't get to bed as early as I would do it, but I have to learn that even though it is not done my way, it can be done and not to worry about it.
Diagnosis was strained muscles, possibly a slipped disk. Just medication for pain management until it heals. Today I am home, resting in bed. I have a list of things that need to get done, there is a load of laundry that needs to get folded and I have work I need to do. But today, it will have to wait. I obviously need some rest and it is time I listen to my body screaming at me to slow down for a change.
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